There is no particular definition of child tantrums, but you must have witnessed those sudden outbursts of anger with screams from a toddler because you denied him an ice-cream or any other less healthy and sugary treat. This sharp reaction is not entirely because of the lack of ice cream.
There is a more complex understanding of your child tantrums and what triggers them. The best way to address them and witness them becoming less and less frequent is to understand them and to use practical strategies for supportive, responsive parenting.
Tantrums in children’s psychology
In young children in the age group of 2 to 4 years, it’s very common to see tantrums. Tantrums take place when emotions become overwhelming and difficult to express. They may involve crying, screaming, and even kicking.
In children who are highly sensitive or neurodivergent, you might also notice a different set of behavioral traits that may seem more like meltdowns. Meltdowns take place due to overstimulation or sensory overload. Being able to analyse and understand child behavior will help in such a case. Even as adults, sensory overload can feel frustrating. In contrast, kids often struggle to recognize that they feel frustrated and need to slow down and rest, which can result in a meltdown or exhaustion.
Possible triggers for a tantrum
- Changes in Routine
- Moving homes
- Traveling
- Chaos
- Presence of a new person/entity
- Feeling frustrated and a Lack of Control after not getting what they want
- Physical discomfort, such as being very tired or hungry
- Overstimulation
How to Respond to Child Tantrums and Triggers
Make sure you provide a safe space, as a parent for your child to express himself. Additionally, observe what happened around the child exactly before the tantrum began. Replay the whole day in your mind on which day the big meltdown or tantrums occurred. Usually, a chaotic home or a day filled with uncertainty can trigger such an outburst.
Try to never ‘react’ to a tantrum; don’t shout back, or even shut down the tantrum with any strong sense of authority or anger.
Stay Calm and Present
Maintain your calm and steady temperament throughout the emotional outbursts in kids. The tantrum may seem far away from logical behavior to you; however, it is best to wait till the storm passes.
If you give in to the tantrum, that would be rather an encouragement to future tantrums, the kid will understand that a tantrum is a way to get things done or communicate. Actually, our goal is to let the kid ‘unlearn’ the tantrum behavior to find a solution or an outlet.
Validate Feelings – but Set Boundaries
Let your child know their feelings of frustration are valid and provide reassurance too. However, at the same time, let the child know what behavior is acceptable and what is not in a firm way, yet without any traces of anger.
You can communicate that hitting someone or threatening them is harmful and unsafe, and is not okay. Let the child know that there are always consequences to such actions in a gentle manner.
Teach Self-Soothing Skills
Teaching kids self-soothing tricks such as breathing exercises, counting to ten slowly, or using a favorite comfort toy can really help. Try giving them a stress ball to squeeze when things get tough.
The key is to practice these skills when they’re calm, so they’re ready to use them when emotions run high. If you think your child is having a higher amount of anger than normal, address the issue by getting your child anger management therapy.
It is crucial to watch your or your partner’s behavior in front of the kids. Kids are good at picking up on others’ habits or behavioral patterns. Learn to regulate your emotions and maintain a healthy and calm home for your child. Here, open communication and broadening perspective will help. While parenting, take care of your mental well-being and get proper sleep to be able to function well.
Get help from professional
In case of more frequent or intense emotional outbursts in kids, therapy can come across as a perfect solution for the child and parents. An experienced child psychologist near you can help you navigate the delicate situation without escalation; with that, you will be able to maintain a healthy household for your child. We are a team of child behavior therapists in Mississauga.
Parenting a child who experiences frequent tantrums or emotional outbursts can be exhausting, and sometimes, it can leave you questioning your own parenting capacity. Ensure you and the rest of the support system recognise that a tantrum by your child doesn’t show that you are practicing wrong parenting or that the child is being difficult.
Understanding your child’s ‘inner world’ will help you help them regulate their emotions. Therapy is helpful for children who struggle with intense emotions, as well as for parents who need support and better insight. A child therapist provides children with tools to express themselves, cope with stress, and build resilience. For families, therapy offers strategies to create a more harmonious home environment and strengthen the parent-child bond.
Resources
https://newsroom.unl.edu/announce/lancasterextension/18749/101287

