Ever had those conversations with a friend or colleague where you’re talking, and even in the middle of the topic, your friend starts scrolling through their phone or, even worse, cuts you off to start a new conversation? It’s frustrating because it shows a lack of active listening, and the kind of focused attention that makes you feel heard and respected. Pretty irritating habit, right?
What is Active Listening?
Active listening is an art one must possess, especially if the topic is sensitive, or the friend or colleague is a close one, or if someone needs help or advice.
Listening isn’t always easy; when you yourself are going through any stressful period or have been unwell, mentally or physically, it’s not quite possible to pay full attention to anybody else. An individual who is comfortable and calm can be an active listener in that moment.
Finding a good listener can be revitalizing for someone who is struggling in any aspect of his or her life. To be able to express without a fear of judgement, or to be able to vent in front of a trusted friend, sibling, or colleague, can let the pressure out for the moment.
In which therapeutic modalities is active listening most commonly applied?
Active listening is a core communication skill used across many forms of psychotherapy, but it is most strongly emphasized in Person-Centered Therapy (also known as Rogerian Therapy), developed by Carl Rogers. In this approach, therapists use active listening to demonstrate empathy, create a non-judgmental environment, and help clients feel genuinely heard and understood.
Active listening also plays a key role in:
- Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT): Therapists use it to accurately identify thought patterns and emotional triggers.
- Motivational Interviewing (MI): Reflective listening, a form of active listening, is essential to guide clients toward change.
- Couples and Family Therapy: Often used to teach partners and families how to listen without interrupting or reacting defensively.
While not a standalone therapy, active listening is a foundational technique that enhances the effectiveness of almost every therapeutic relationship by fostering trust, emotional safety, and meaningful dialogue.
What are 5 active listening techniques?
Here are a handful of ways you can work on your listening skills.
1. Focusing on the speaker’s intent:
First and foremost, it is advisable to have clarity on the speaker’s intent. There are times when an individual wants to know what you have to say on a particular subject.
The other times, one is going through some problem and would be able to use your help. And then there is this very common instance, where a person, your friend, the speaker, just wants to express what he or she wants to.
Be it frustration, any event, or even something positive. In the last case, you, as a listener, don’t have to share your insight unless very specifically asked.
2. Paying attention:
While the speaker is narrating an experience, an event, or feelings, look towards them and not at anyone else, definitely not at the phone.
Meanwhile, pay attention to what they are saying, noting the details in mind. Listening actively takes empathy and a certain level of interest in one’s life.
3. Showing that you’re listening:
Signs of active listening and communication don’t have to be verbal. In fact, constant verbal inputs can derail the original conversation.
Nodding when appropriate, maintaining eye contact, and responding in a way that enables the speaker to speak freely while ushering the conversation in a progressive manner is an impeccable skill.
Nodding, smiling (when appropriate), and reacting to what’s said make a big difference, but your responses should be real. Pretending to listen or nodding ‘calculatively’ won’t help at all.
Here, the body language of both of you speaks a lot. As a listener, you can choose to keep a body language that is more open. Instead of crossed arms and a leaned-back posture, you might want to keep a bit more softer stance. It is advisable to orient your body towards the speaker (if culturally appropriate).
4. Providing Feedback:
Once you see fit, and while keeping the intent of the speaker in mind, you can give your insight to help him or her out. However, your listening should not revolve around your impulse to respond or react. After listening, reflect on your thoughts and then give your feedback.
5. Avoid Interrupting:
As mentioned above, don’t listen with the intent of reacting. Let the speaker finish the thought. Interrupting and not letting the other person speak is poor manners and poor communication skills, too.
The benefits of active listening are endless. You get to have improved communication, stronger relationships, enhanced problem-solving, and increased learning opportunities.
Active listening skills aren’t just a communication skill; they’re a form of care, empathy, as well as connection. If the conversation is about supporting a loved one through a difficult time, engaging in therapy, or trying to strengthen your personal or professional relationships, the way you listen can transform the way others feel seen and heard.
How to Improve Active Listening
Improving active listening starts with being fully present in the moment. Put away distractions like phones or laptops, maintain eye contact, and focus on what the speaker is saying—both verbally and nonverbally.
Avoid the urge to interrupt or plan your response while the other person is still talking. Instead, show you’re engaged by nodding, using affirming cues like “I see” or “That makes sense,” and responding with empathy.
To take it further, practice reflective listening, summarize or paraphrase what the speaker said to confirm understanding. Ask open-ended questions that invite deeper sharing, and be mindful of your body language.
Improving active listening isn’t just about hearing words, it’s about creating a space where others feel genuinely heard, respected, and understood. Over time, this skill can significantly strengthen your personal and professional relationships.
Closing thought
At CoHM, we believe that listening is often the first step toward healing. Whether you’re seeking support for yourself or trying to be there for someone else, remember that meaningful change often begins with a compassionate ear and an open heart. If you’re ready to improve your emotional well-being or need someone to truly listen, our professionals are here for you.
Active listening skills help a wide array of people, including students and professionals, to those who are to have a fulfilling personal life.

