All Blogs Archives - Centre of Healing Minds (CoHM)

Understanding Anxious and Avoidant Attachment

It’s 8:37 PM. You sent a message. It shows “read.” No reply. Your mind starts sprinting: Did I say something wrong? Are they losing interest? Do I fix it now? Or imagine the opposite. Your phone buzzes three times in a row: “Can we talk now?” Your chest tightens. You care, but you need air. If you dive in right this second, you’ll say the wrong thing. You want a little space, but you worry that asking for it will make things worse. Those two moments neatly capture anxious and avoidant attachment. One leans in for closeness to feel safe. The other leans back for space to feel safe. Both are trying to protect the relationship in the only way their nervous system knows.

What “Attachment Style” Really Means

Attachment style is simply the way your body and brain try to keep love and connection safe. It’s not a life sentence, it’s a pattern. With practice, you can become steadier and more secure.

Secure: “We can be close and still be okay when there is space.”
Anxious: “If there’s distance, I feel unsafe. I reach for you.”
Avoidant: “If there’s too much intensity, I feel unsafe. I backed up.”

You can show different sides, with different people. That’s normal.

Spot the Anxious Patterns

When you feel anxious, silence feels loud. Your brain tries to close the gap quickly because distance feels like danger.

You might notice:

You refresh the chat and reread messages.
You imagine worst-case stories when replies are slow.
You try to fix a conflict immediately because waiting hurts.
You people-please to keep the vibe smooth.
You test without meaning to: a sharp tone, a “fine,” an extra text.

What helps most are steady signals, clear words, predictable follow-through, and a few tools to soothe yourself in the meantime.

Take the Free, 5-Minute Attachment Style Quiz on our website!

Spot the Avoidant Patterns

When you lean avoidant, intensity feels like losing your footing. Your brain says, “I’ll calm down first, then I can connect.”

You might notice:

You feel relief when you’re alone after emotional talks.
You keep feelings to yourself so you don’t get pulled into drama.
You downplay emotions to stay in control.
You feel criticized or crowded by repeated check-ins.
You end things when they get serious, then feel lonely later.

What helps most is bite-sized closeness, partners who respect space, and simple ways to express a need without feeling trapped.

How This Shows Up at Work and With Friends

It’s not just about romance.

Work: Anxious-leaning folks may seek frequent feedback and read tone into short emails. Avoidant-leaning folks may prefer deep-focus time and give brief updates.
Friends: Anxious-leaning folks plan and check in often. Avoidant-leaning folks sometimes cancel to recharge and prefer quieter hangouts.

Small agreements help everyone:

“I’ll reply within a day, even if it’s just ‘Got it, more soon.’”
“Please send a calendar invite and a one-line goal for meetings.”
“If I go quiet, it means I’m focused, not upset.”

Move Gently Toward Secure

You don’t need a personality transplant. You just need a few reps of new, safer experiences. Think “good enough,” not perfect.

Name your pattern out loud: “In conflict, I tend to chase,” or “I tend to shut down.”
Slow your body first: three slow breaths, a glass of water, a short walk.
Use clean “I” statements: “I get anxious when I don’t hear back. Can we set a time to talk?”
Make micro-agreements: What does “space” mean? How long? How do we reconnect?
Repair quickly: If it goes sideways, name it, apologize briefly, and reset a time.

If You Lean Anxious

Have a tiny grounding routine: four breaths, a 20-minute pause, a text to a friend, and a short walk.
Ask directly: “Two quick check-ins a day help me feel calm. Is that reasonable?”
Add structure to your life so your partner isn’t your only calming source.
Celebrate “good enough” responses instead of perfect ones.

If You Lean Avoidant

Share your plan before you need it: “If I get quiet, I’m recharging. I’ll message by 7 PM.”
Offer predictability: be on time, follow through, and say when you’ll be back.
Practice small disclosures: one feeling, one need, one story.
Stay five minutes longer than is comfortable during hard talks—then ask for a break.

Simple Scripts You Can Use Today

Anxious-leaning moments:

“When I don’t hear back, I start to spiral. Could you send a quick ‘busy, talk later’ text when you’re swamped?”
“I don’t need long messages. A short check-in helps me settle.”

Avoidant-leaning moments:

“I’m getting overwhelmed. I care about this and need 20 minutes to reset. I’ll text when I’m ready.”
“It helps me when you tell me exactly what you need up front.”

For both, a middle path:

“If I need space, I’ll say how long and when I’ll reconnect.”
“If I need reassurance, I’ll ask directly and accept a simple response.”

If There Is Deeper Hurt or Trauma

Attachment work can stir old pain. Go gently. A good therapist can be like a spotter at the gym.

Approaches that often help include:

Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT): builds safer bonding cycles.
Internal Family Systems (IFS): helps befriend protective parts.
PACT: works with nervous system cues in real time.
CBT/DBT Skills: calms spirals and helps navigate big feelings.

Needing support doesn’t mean you’re broken. It means you’re brave enough to heal with help.

A Kinder Way to See Yourself

You didn’t choose your early wiring. You’re choosing what you practice now. Every time you say, “I need five minutes and I’ll be back,” or “I’m feeling anxious; can we set a time to talk?” you’re re-teaching your body that closeness can be safe and space can be safe.

That’s what secure feels like in real life, not perfection, just a sturdy bridge back to each other, again and again.

If tonight brings one of those 8:37 PM moments, try this:

Take three slow breaths.
Write the kinder alternative story.
Send one clean message: “Hey, I’m looking forward to talking. Are you free after 9, or should we pick a time tomorrow?”
Then do one small, nourishing thing for yourself while you wait.

That’s how change looks: small, human steps that build trust on both sides.

Ready to Heal the Roots of Your Pattern?

Schedule an Appointment

Oct 29Oct 29

What is the Difference between a Psychotherapist and a Psychologist

psychotherapist vs psychologist key difference

Lately, mental health awareness has empowered many people who need medical attention due to mental health issues to get it. While there has been some clarity among laymen about the difference between mental health issues and neurological health issues, there’s still some air yet to be clarified. For people who are not medical professionals, it’s normal to get fumbled between the terms psychiatrists, psychologists, and psychotherapists.

Mental health patients cope and deal with a ton of struggles in their day-to-day lives. Facing symptoms, and identifying their patterns, identifying how the medication is going to impact their life, and with that, they try to have a family life, career, and social life if the time and energy permit. This is a lot to handle. In that case, professionals who help them with their mental healthcare are nothing less than heroes for them. Psychotherapists, psychologists, and psychiatrists are a key part of one’s mental well-being journey.

There are very specific differences between these three roles. While all three, psychiatrists, psychologists, and psychotherapists have distinct responsibilities, they all contribute heavily to the well-being of everyone around them. The journey of the science of mental well-being has reached far largely because of them, in addition to noted professionals in the psychological and psychiatric fields. In this guide we will talk about the difference between a psychotherapist, vs psychologist, and vs psychiatrist.

Who Is a Psychotherapist?

A psychotherapist can wear multiple hats, including counsellors, social workers, marriage and family therapists, and even psychologists who dedicate themselves to talk therapy only.

Their mission is to nurture transformation through conversation, healing not through prescriptions or pills, but through presence, empathy, and the subtle art of understanding human complexity.

To emphasize a dissimilarity further between psychotherapists and psychologists, psychotherapists cannot provide assessments related to IQ, ADHD or autism levels. Their manner of treatment is limited to talk therapies like CBT, DBT, and psychodynamic methods. Also, unlike psychologists, assessments and diagnostics are not psychotherapists’ job.

Psychotherapists can work in tandem with psychiatrists if the patient requires. Psychotherapists help patients open up about their worries, struggles, and emotional and mental wounds. Psychotherapists help you to gain the ability to relax despite the daily chaos. They also empower the patients to navigate their wellbeing journey with clarity and structured therapy plans.

Who Is a Psychologist?

A psychologist deals with multiple aspects of one’s mental health. They can carry out in-depth research and can also provide therapy. Psychologists can provide detailed assessments and diagnoses. Such assessments can include IQ tests and assessments of ADHD as it’s a spectrum. These skills help with autism, ADHD, anxiety, depression, BPD, bipolar personality, OCD, and many other pressing mental health issues.

Psychologists can approach their career and drive to help people with their mental health and emotional state more proactively. With their richer and deeper insights and experience, they can conduct diagnostic evaluations and assessments, identifying mental health conditions such as depression, anxiety, ADHD, or more complex personality structures. With that, they can help people navigate through their personal struggles.

Education and Training: The Defining Divide

Here is where their professional roads part ways.

Psychotherapists are expected to hold a master’s degree in counselling, clinical psychology, or social work. It’s a path rich in experiential learning, deep listening, and interpersonal skill-building. Their craft is steeped in the human experience, nurturing insight, developing self-awareness, and enabling change through the therapeutic alliance.

A psychologist, however, cuts a longer and more enriched academic journey. Years of research-based work, data interpretation, reports, and supervised clinical practice refine their skillset and ability to help patients with complex history. This is what sets psychologists apart. Their doctoral training enables them to conduct formal assessments, publish research, and, depending on the region, prescribe limited medication. Psychologists are required to be licensed by authorities, too.

Both stand as guardians of mental health, yet their lenses differ. The psychotherapist walks beside you through your emotional wilderness; the psychologist studies the map from above, decoding the structure and logic that guide your steps.

How Their Roles Intersect

Despite these distinctions, their harmony lies in overlap. Both hold space for healing. Both invite transformation. Both believe in the mind’s ability to repair itself when given safety, understanding, and time.

In many cases, the psychologist is also the psychotherapist. The divergence rests in method, not intention. One may rely on heartfelt dialogue and relational depth, while the other blends that empathy with empirical clarity and structured assessment.

For those seeking help, the titles may blur, and perhaps, that’s the beauty of it. Healing is not found in credentials alone but in connection. What truly mends is not the method, but the meeting, the moment you feel seen, understood, and accompanied on the long road back to yourself.

Therapy should be regarded as an indispensable ally alongside medication, particularly when navigating mental health afflictions such as anxiety or depression.

If you or anyone seems troubled by emotional turbulence or mental exhaustion, reach out to your nearby mental healthcare provider. The first sign that tells you to see a therapist is when you think, “Should I see a psychologist or psychotherapist?” Our ensemble of seasoned, credentialed, and compassionate psychologists is devoted to crafting a judgment-free space.

Take the first step toward clarity and peace of mind.

Schedule Your Confidential First Session Now

FAQs

Can a Psychotherapist help me if I am diagnosed with Anxiety Disorder?

Surely. A psychotherapist helps you to gradually cope and step out of a series of symptoms. You will slowly see an improvement in how you respond to triggers.

How do I know whether a psychologist is a good fit for me?

Once you start the therapy, if, after a couple of sessions, you find them fruitful, it is likely that the said psychologist will be a great help to you. After 6 or 10 sessions, you will see noticeable improvement (depending on complexity).

How do I seek therapy from COHM?

Call us at (647) 779-9644 to know more and book a first consultation. Here, we can discuss your mental well-being goals and plan your treatment further.

Sep 23Sep 22

EMDR Therapy for PTSD: Benefits, Process, and Results

Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) affects thousands of Canadians every year. From veterans and first responders to survivors of accidents, disasters, and abuse, PTSD can deeply disrupt daily life. While traditional talk therapy and medication are widely used, EMDR therapy has gained recognition as a powerful, evidence-based treatment option.

This guide explores EMDR therapy for PTSD, what it is, how it works, the benefits you can expect, and how to access it across the country.

What is EMDR Therapy?

EMDR stands for Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing. Developed by psychologist Dr. Francine Shapiro in the 1980s, EMDR helps people reprocess traumatic memories so they no longer trigger overwhelming emotional or physical responses.

The therapy uses bilateral stimulation, eye movements, tapping, or auditory tones, while recalling distressing experiences. This process allows the brain to “unstick” traumatic memories and refile them in a more adaptive way.

The Canadian Psychological Association (CPA) recognizes EMDR as an effective treatment for PTSD. It’s also endorsed by the World Health Organization (WHO) and the U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs and Department of Defense.

PTSD in Mississauga: Why Treatment Matters

PTSD isn’t just about flashbacks—it can quietly affect sleep, concentration, relationships, and even physical health. That’s why early, evidence-based treatment is so important. According to Statistics Canada, 1 in 10 Canadians will experience PTSD in their lifetime. Some groups are at higher risk:

- Veterans and active-duty military personnel (Veterans Affairs Canada identifies PTSD as one of the most common service-related conditions).
- First responders, including police officers, firefighters, and paramedics.
- Indigenous communities, due to intergenerational trauma and systemic challenges.
- Survivors of accidents, abuse, or natural disasters.

Without treatment, PTSD can cause flashbacks, nightmares, hypervigilance, avoidance behaviours, and emotional numbness, seriously affecting relationships, work, and overall health. In Mississauga, many registered psychotherapists and social workers at clinics such as COHM provide EMDR both in-person and online, making treatment accessible across Ontario.

How EMDR Therapy Works: The 8 Phases

EMDR is based on the Adaptive Information Processing (AIP) model, which suggests that trauma can interrupt the brain’s natural processing ability. EMDR therapy reopens those pathways so memories can be integrated.

Phase	What Happens	Purpose
1. History & Planning	Therapist reviews trauma history and symptoms.	Identify targets for reprocessing.
2. Preparation	Education, coping skills, grounding exercises.	Ensure readiness and safety.
3. Assessment	Select specific memory, emotions, body sensations, and negative beliefs.	Define focus for treatment.
4. Desensitization	Bilateral stimulation while recalling trauma.	Reduce emotional distress.
5. Installation	Strengthen positive beliefs (e.g., “I am safe”).	Replace negative self-perceptions.
6. Body Scan	Notice lingering physical sensations.	Release trauma stored in the body.
7. Closure	End the session with calm and stability.	Protect clients between sessions.
8. Reevaluation	Review progress at next session.	Adjust plans if needed.

Typical session length: 60–90 minutes. Number of sessions: 3–6 for single-event trauma, 8–12+ for complex trauma.

Benefits of EMDR Therapy for PTSD

Research Evidence

- A 2018 meta-analysis found EMDR equally effective as trauma-focused CBT, with some studies showing faster results.
- The CPA acknowledges EMDR as an evidence-based treatment for trauma.
- Veterans Affairs Canada (VAC) covers EMDR under mental health benefits for eligible veterans.
- Research shows 77–100% of single-event PTSD cases resolve after 6–12 EMDR sessions.

Accessing EMDR Therapy in Ontario

Who Can Provide EMDR Therapy?

In Mississauga, ON, Canada, EMDR is typically provided by:

- Registered Psychologists
- Registered Social Workers (RSWs)
- Registered Psychotherapists (RPs) (in provinces like Ontario)

Therapists should be trained and often certified through EMDR Canada, the national affiliate of EMDRIA.

Cost and Coverage

- Public healthcare (OHIP, MSP, RAMQ, etc.) generally does not cover EMDR.
- Extended health benefits often reimburse sessions with psychologists, social workers, or psychotherapists.
- Veterans Affairs Canada (VAC) covers EMDR for eligible veterans.
- First responder programs in some provinces include EMDR as part of trauma support.
- Community clinics may offer sliding-scale or reduced rates.

Typical Timeline

Type of Trauma	Sessions Needed	Duration
Single-event trauma	3–6	A few weeks to 2 months
Complex trauma	8–12+	Several months
Recent trauma	Variable	Depends on case

Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ)

Q: Is EMDR available across Canada?
Yes, EMDR therapists practice in most provinces. EMDR Canada’s directory lists certified providers.

Q: Is EMDR covered by OHIP or MSP?
No, public health insurance does not typically cover psychotherapy. Extended health benefits may apply.

Q: Does EMDR work faster than talk therapy?
For many, yes. Some clients notice significant relief after just a few sessions.

Q: Is EMDR therapy safe?
Yes, when performed by a licensed professional. Some clients experience temporary discomfort as memories are processed.

Q: How do I find a therapist?
Check the EMDR Canada directory, or verify credentials with your provincial college (e.g., College of Psychologists of Ontario).

Final thought

EMDR therapy is a proven treatment for PTSD and trauma-related conditions, offering hope for Canadians struggling with the weight of past experiences. Though not covered by public health insurance, EMDR is accessible through private coverage, Veterans Affairs, first responder programs, and community clinics.

If you or someone you love is struggling with PTSD, COHM’s licensed therapists specialize in trauma-focused care, including EMDR therapy.

Book your consultation with COHM today and take the first step toward healing.

Healing from trauma is possible. If you or a loved one is struggling, our licensed EMDR therapists in Mississauga are here to help. Book your consultation with COHM today.

May 7May 19

The Science Behind Self-Care and Mental Health

Self-care…a concept most people begin to understand and execute only after experiencing at least some part of burnout, mental stress, or even symptoms of depression or anxiety. Self-care isn’t just a buzzword, it is also not when you spend hundreds of bucks at a salon, unless that’s the thing that gives you inner satisfaction. In self-care, its about putting effort and energy in order to get quality sleep, mental well-being and peace, with good physical health. Self-care and mental health are connected in many ways.

Proactively working towards your own good health and mental well-being yields impressive results. If you eat right (veggies, fruits, seeds, highly nutrient food), drink plenty of water, and practice mindfulness after a mild session of workout at a regular period of time, your mental health will see a significant improvement. Your sleep quality will strengthen and you might sustain a joyful mood.

If you’ve been putting yourself last for too long, it’s time to change that. Self-care isn’t selfish—it’s essential for your mental well-being. Not sure where to begin? Start by understanding what kind of support you might need. Take our free quiz to see if individual therapy could be the next step in your self-care journey. It’s quick, private, and designed to help you feel more in control.

Take This Free Quiz Here

With a full-time job or any form of employment, in this deteriorated climate with negative and horrendous events consistently occurring around us, it is difficult to keep an optimistic outlook on life. A routine that helps you stay healthy, a routine that prioritizes you will help you remain positive and healthy. Your self-care routine should focus on relaxation, and physical and mental health while it should also fit into your schedule.

Why is Self-care Important?

A very large part of mental health depends upon your physical health, eating habits, and so on. Exercising, meditating, regulating food intake, and reducing factors that add stress to your life will collectively influence your mental state to a great extent.

Exercise Helps Increase Serotonin Levels; Increases Muscle Strength

Regular exercise, especially yoga and cardio will benefit your hormonal system significantly. Also, it helps you feel better as a regular habit of exercising improves Serotonin Levels. Serotonin hormone is a key factor behind many functions of the body, especially brain function.

Serotonin enables you to feel calm, at ease, and happy. It also helps you focus on your daily tasks. It’s a very important part of anyone’s mental well-being. Regular exercise can do wonders for you. Thus, one of the mental health self-care tips would be to move your body and have fun with the exercise.

Mindfulness Reduces Stress

Mindfulness includes techniques such as breathing exercises in a slow and deeper manner. Another one is the 5,4,3,2,1 method. The 5,4,3,2,1 grounding method refers to identifying 5 things you can see, 4 things you can touch, 3 things you can hear, 2 things you can smell, and 1 thing you can taste. It is a classic grounding technique that will help your brain to break the negative thought pattern. This is a great way to initiate self-care for anxiety.

Doing deep and slow breathing practices daily before sleeping improves sleep quality while also helping you wake up with a fresh mind. If you continue these two practices on a daily basis for months, your stress levels will be down noticeably.

Strong and Long Enough Sleep Relaxes You

Focus on how many hours you sleep, how many times you accidentally wake up, and whether you struggle to fall asleep. Being able to sleep soundly is a sign of good health. Struggling to fall asleep is something you may find concerning. Doing lifestyle changes and in some cases, consulting a healthcare professional will help.

Moreover, the biggest self-care move will be taking yourself to a mental health professional. If you notice a decline in your sense of calm, ability to feel happy and content, and have been tackling stressful situations.

In a nutshell, the connection between self-care and mental health is quite direct. Taking care of yourself while setting healthy boundaries helps reduce stress, improve emotional resilience, and enhance overall well-being.

By making self-care a consistent part of daily life, you can develop a stronger, healthier mindset, ultimately leading to a more balanced and fulfilling life.

If you’re finding it hard to manage stress, sleep well, or simply feel like yourself again, it might be time to speak with a mental health professional. Prioritizing your well-being is not a sign of weakness—it’s a vital step toward healing and growth. Reach out today to get the support you deserve. Your mind matters, and help is just a conversation away.

References:

- Government of Canada – Mental Health and Wellness

Category: All Blogs